Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
