She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i came on her dog
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
