Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
