so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
