I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
