why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
