Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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