using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
