You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
