You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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