people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
