the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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