I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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