its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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