chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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