i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How's work?
Spinning.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
