Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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