Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
