I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
