there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
