Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
