I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
