no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
