i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
