Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
