ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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