I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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