i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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