I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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