You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
