she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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