when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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