More tranny stories later!
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
