so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
