I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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