if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She said her name was "party"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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