Sacagawea was the original milf.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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