she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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