Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
