are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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