I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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