my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
