I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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