I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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