Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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