last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
