So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We are all done wearing pants today
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
