i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
