I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
