I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
