As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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