my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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